Friendship affirmations are critical in today’s world of fast paced hustle culture that may leave us feeling either like we don’t have friends or like we are not a good friend.
And we know from numerous studies that one of the most healthy things you can do for yourself is to be a part of a community.
Forming solid connections and building healthy relationships is a sign of maturity and total wellness, as well as longevity.
One of the primary indicators of a long healthy life is community.
So, how do you build community?
How do you make sure you are a good friend?
It took me years to learn that friendships, all relationships, really, are not about sacrificing myself, killing myself, pleasing, or clinging.
In Judgement Detox, author Gabrielle Bernstein discusses the need for us to release expectations from others, to stop clinging, and to cut the cord.
I cannot tell you how many friendships I lost because I put my friends up on a pedestal and then they came crashing down when I realized they were human.
We have to learn to allow our friends and family to be human.
We have to allow them to be who they are.
We have to learn to love people where they are.
Wherever that may be.
And that can be really hard when we have not fully learned to love ourselves.
When we hold ourselves to impossible expectations and surround ourselves with shame every time we fall short, we are bound to do that to others as well, even if we don’t mean to.
So if you want to be a good friend, to your friends, to your family, to your spouse, to your kids, you have to be a good friend to yourself first.
If you’ve read any of the other pieces on this site, you probably know I am going to say it begins within.
Because it does.
It begins within.
Self-Love and Friendship Affirmations
To love anyone else, to really believe your friendship affirmations, you will have to learn to love yourself.
Learning to love yourself means undoing all the stories you have built up in your head as to why you’re not good enough, why you can’t live your dreams, why you are not worthy of the love of others.
A lot of this has to do with something called the mother wound.
Healing the mother wound is a part of cycle breaking and stepping into the love of the universe.
Our mothers passed down their trauma, which is largely a product of the trauma their mothers passed on down to them, and so on and so on for generations.
In order to be free of this trauma, we must heal it, and in order to heal it, we must allow ourselves to become aware of it.
In order to become aware of it, we must sit with our triggers and release the stories that come up.
The Universe Has Your Back
Another great Gabrielle Bernstein book is The Universe Has Your Back. In it, she explains that we are all manifestations of a loving, all powerful, infinitely wise Universe that is always answering our call.
And we can manifest anything in this lifetime when we operate from a place that matches that vibration of pure, positive, loving energy.
We must become the love we want to share and receive. Friendship affirmations stem directly from this place of self love.
So, to begin the process of healing the mother wound, of stepping into the love of the Universe, and of becoming a good friend, we practice the art of self-care and self-love every single day.
A great way to start your practice of self-care and self-love on a daily basis is with morning meditation.
Dedicate each morning to acts of self-love that lead up to meditation.
Get out of bed, make your bed, face the day by looking straight up at the bright sky. Consider even going outside into the daylight for a few minutes to reset your circadian rhythms and step into the cycles of the planet that made you.
Next, brush your teeth and scrape your tongue, ridding yourself of all bacteria from the night before.
Drink a full glass of water with a squeeze of lemon or lime juice to get your system going.
Then settle yourself onto your yoga mat for 10 to 20 minutes of gentle stretching and body love.
Work on your breath as you do, calming and centering yourself.
Finally, sit and set your timer for 20 minutes for quiet meditation.
How to Meditate
If you struggle with meditation, you are not alone. If I take even a short break from daily meditation, I find my brain crowded back in with my inner voice on constant chatter mode.
It takes time, patience, and, of course, self-love.
I like to open up my meditation with a few minutes of “om” chants just to kind of silence my inner voice that wants to send me a million thoughts.
Then you can do a full body scan that allows you to check in with every part of your body and clear all of your chakras, from your crown down to your root.
Then root yourself into the earth, connecting yourself to all of life on earth.
For the remainder of your meditation, allow yourself to sink deeper into yourself, connecting with your higher self, the true you that was you before you came into this human body, and that will be you when you pass from this human experience, having expanded from all of your joys and pains in this lifetime.
She is there for you, always, patiently waiting to connect.
Be a Good Friend
Like magic, once you learn to be a good friend to yourself, you will be a great friend to anyone else in your life.
That higher self you connect with is always guiding you and teaching you how to love.
Listen to her, and know that she is listening to you, always.
Listen and Hold Space
To be a good friend, as the Universe and your higher self are good friends to you, you must learn to hold space.
To sit and listen.
To offer your counsel only if it is elicited.
You can empathize without relating, without making the situation about you, and you can hold your tongue.
You do not share someone else’s struggles with other friends or family.
Remember, when you talk to someone about someone else, the person you are talking to will be left feeling that you will be talking about them, too, when you get the chance.
Your job as a friend is to just hold the safe, sacred, confidential space.
Another really important part of being a good friend is to set and hold boundaries.
You have to do it with yourself, and the Universe and your higher self certainly do it with you.
You can learn to do this with your friends.
You do not give what you are unable to give.
You do not allow someone to walk in your clear and clean mind with their dirty feet.
You do not allow someone to drag you down with them.
And you are absolutely responsible for setting those boundaries.
Anyone who truly loves and respects you will honor your boundaries.
Be Your Authentic Self
True friendship is built on truth. You have to be fully yourself in your fullest incarnation.
Who you are, to your core.
You have to be transparent, honest, and open.
And you have to allow your friends to be the same.
This all goes back to judgement detox.
You can allow others to have their own experiences, beliefs, and preferences without sharing them.
Sure, it’s fun when you have them in common, but if you don’t, you can still find other common ground.
Be yourself, and watch your true tribe arrive.
This is why self-love is so important.
When you are setting boundaries and holding space you can always love unconditionally.
The friends you remain in your life for years to come, for a lifetime, will be the ones who think you are amazing as your authentic self and who you too thing are awesome as themselves.
Learn to love your friends, and the whole world, with the loving eyes of the Universe.
As you navigate the world of friendship, practice some of these friendship affirmations, and make these daily affirmations your own.
“I can be my own best friend.”
“In tough times, I have supportive friends and positive people to lift me up.”
“I am a loyal friend.”
“New people can be wonderful friends.”
“Good people make positive relationship and build a circle of friends.”
“Positive energy in a social situation allows for new friendships.”
“With the right mindset, my friend circle will grow.”
“My close friends show me I’m worthy of love, great things, and a healthy social life.”
“Long-lasting friendships and deep connections are a positive vibe for me.”
“Now is the right time for great things to get rid of social anxiety.”
“Strong relationships are built from the love of friends and positive friendship affirmations.”
“Wonderful new friends spend quality time with me.”
“The best thing to be a better person is to build a friend group I trust.”
“My inner circle is filled with amazing people and meaningful relationships.”
“I have lots of friends, existing friends, and a great time that is a source of happiness for me.”
“I know my own value, and I value my mental health.”