A breakup spell is easier said, easier prepared, and easier cast than manifested.
But, if you do plan it, prepare it, and cast it, you will be that much closer to actually manifesting it.
It’s all about the ritual.
Because rituals require energy.
Rituals compel you to work with your thoughts to change your thoughts.
And your thoughts control your emotions.
Your emotions, typically, are what control you.
Which is why breakup spells can be tremendously powerful when done right. When done ritualistically.
Table of Contents
The Power of Ritual
The power of the ritual lies in its ritualistic nature.
Ritual calls you to gather ingredients, to think of words for your spell, mantra, or affirmation, and to assert your will in a way that is concrete and celebrated.
You can build ritual around anything and everything, and each time you do, you are strengthening your resolve, breaking old habits, and building a new you.
A few years back, I lived in sheer chaos.
My husband and I moved from our sunny, and far too busy, California life to the side of a mountain in Southern Oregon.
Because the states are so closely aligned in so many ways, I did not expect it to be such an uprooting, though intuitively I must have known, or I would not have done it.
I knew on some level I needed a literal tower moment (two-year span), world crashing down around my ears, utter chaos ensuing, to get me to where I am now – nestled in my cozy cottage in my cozy village as the resident witch.
But when chaos breaks out, ritual is far from the center of your mind.
And so it was with me.
My husband remained in our old location for work for the first six months of our move, while I settled our girls into our new rural, nature centric life.
He visited frequently, but he was not part of our daily routine.
And, to be quite honest, we had no daily routine.
I went from the known to the utterly unknown.
I was in the beginning of building my writing business, of stepping into my knowledge of witchcraft and spirituality, and I had two young girls to homeschool.
Oh, and then a global pandemic broke out.
Things were tough.
Even after my husband joined us, it felt like I was always playing catch up, living life in a constant state of confusion while pretending I had it all figured out.
Finally, I had a nervous breakdown.
Looking back, that’s what I would call it now.
My entire nervous system broke, shattered, and kept me in a constant state of vibration, shakiness, edginess, fear, panic.
It was awful.
What saved me?
I slowly but surely built ritual into my daily routine.
I built a daily routine that became ritualistic.
I also incorporated the proper ingredients – vitamins and supplements, teas and tinctures, nutrition and eliminations.
So that physically and mentally I could get myself healthy, and find ways to get myself spiritually, and psychically healthy as well.
I will tell you now in all my years of healing myself and helping others heal themselves, I have never known someone who got serious about ritual who did not come out the other side fully healed on all levels.
Do not be fooled.
If you are experiencing a bad breakup, one that has driven you to visit the internet for tips on a breakup spell, how to get over someone, you need healing.
You are lovesick.
Lovesickness is serious.
We become lovesick when we see the other person we are enamored of as someone we need. We identify as belonging to that person. Or that person belongs to us.
And none of those things are true.
Sure, we all belong to each other in the sense that we come from the same spiritual and ethereal space.
But nothing on earth is our actual property, something that we cannot live without.
Remember, we came here to have the human experience, and that is all.
We came here to find joy through pain, to find the light through the darkness, to find awe in the mundane.
Lovesickness means you grew so attached to the person you were with that you now feel real, physical pain at the detached state of your relationship.
You or the other person realized that you did not want to be life partners after all, and it is causing you to question everything.
You must heal yourself not only from that lovesickness, but from the idea that it was or is ever supposed to be that way.
The problem is not that you grew attached to the wrong person. The problem is that you grew attached.
That is not our job.
Our job, as Buddhist Pema Chodron teaches, is to lovingly detach.
We love from a place of knowing that our spirits are connected, or we would not have met, we would never have crossed paths.
But we did.
Because we had growth to offer each other.
Sometimes that is for a lifetime; sometimes that is for a moment.
You must allow for this reality.
When you don’t, you suffer.
I cannot tell you how many women I have worked with on this particular issue of detachment.
The Divine Feminine
We live in an era where, for most of us, the relationship structure has been flipped on its head.
The spiritual truth between the divine feminine and the divine masculine is that the woman is meant to lead, to be the creator, the designer, to matriarch, the bright, shining, beautiful light that glows and shows the way.
We are the receivers.
Meanwhile, the man is meant to uplift, to support, to provide, to structure, and to help follow through on the woman’s vision for creation.
They are the givers.
We see this truth throughout nature.
Man provides the seed.
Woman receives it and creates.
When that dynamic is out of balance, we find lovesickness.
Women have stepped too far into their masculine, and we have displaced the masculinity in our men, which has led to these conversations you see all around you about “toxic masculinity.”
Women, we are responsible for this phenomenon as men are.
It is time we called our power back to us as the divine feminine and encouraged our men to be men.
When we do this, we heal ourselves, we step into our divinely guided paths, and we can love, rather than grow lovesick.
So, if you are lovesick – hurting from a breakup and trying to figure out where to go from here – it is time to build ritual around your divine feminine.
When you create this ritual, you will not only heal from this breakup, but are also less likely to be hurt by future breakups.
Sure, it will hurt, like stubbing a toe or hitting your head on a cabinet.
But it will not be this knock down drag out affair that has you searching the internet for a breakup spell.
The purpose of this breakup spell and ritual is to reclaim your power in the divine feminine, to step onto the path of your passion and intent, and to only allow in what is for your highest good, from now on.
The very first part of your breakup spell is to embrace self-love.
Set up a daily routine that embraces working with your highest good.
This routine could and likely will include things like daily exercise, meditation, waking at the same time each day and going to bed at the same time each night, eating food that is good for your body, eliminating foods and drinks that are toxic for your body, integrating a spiritual practice or study like reading the great masters or listening to inspiring podcasts.
As females, we are naturally chaotic in our energy, which is a beautiful thing.
But we have to balance that by allowing the masculine energy we have create structure, a container to hold our chaos.
Make all of your days, at least during the week, look the same.
Do this for a month, beginning on a new moon and leading up to the next new moon.
As the second new moon approaches and your first month of self-love and self-care comes to a close, prepare a spell of letting go on a piece of paper with pen.
“I release you now
I release you here
You were never mine
On that I’m clear
I stand alone
In love and light
I release resistance
I release all fight.”
It helps to have a cord, a length of string, or a braid of two different colors – one for and one for your ex.
Build a fire under a new moon (or light a candle if you can’t make a fire), speak the words into the wind, and cut the cord.
Then burn your spell in the flame.
Continue on for the next month with your daily self-care ritual, and feel the release of your ex, and of all your expectations of how love is supposed to be.
You are powerful all on your own.
May your next lover know that.