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Love Spells: A Beginner’s Guide 

You want to know how to write love spell?  

You can’t.  

That’s it.  

You can log off now and get some sleep or go for a walk or grab a coffee and see a movie.  

Get on with your life.  

Just kidding.  

Kind of.  

You Cannot Make Someone Love You 

The part I am kidding about is whether you can write a love spell.  

You totally can.  

And I will go into great depths and detail on love spells here.  

But what I am not kidding about is that you cannot make someone love you.  

It is impossible.  

If you have read anything else I have written on spells and curses, you will see that this is a consistent theme in the Universe as well as in the world of magic (which are basically the same thing).  

You cannot curse someone.  

You cannot heal someone.  

You cannot make someone love you.  

Anyone who tells you different is either lying to you or kidding themselves.  

Your only real power is within you and pertains to you.  

You want to change the world? Change yourself. There, you have changed the world as you are part of the world and you have changed.  

You want to fix some large issue? Fix yourself. Your perspective will change, and you will realize that its not your job to fix those things. 

Any real difference you want to make in life and in the world follows the Buddha wisdom:  

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”  

I was talking to my mom about this the other night as she was ranting about a decision one of my sisters had made for her own life.  

I asked her, “how is it possible that you have made it 66 years in this life, and you have not figured out that what other people do is none of your business?”  

She replied, astounded, “what? Like you don’t give advice and counsel? I see you counseling and helping people all the time!” 

“Yes, Mom.” I said. “When I am asked. They have to come to me.”  

And that’s how we make a difference, heal, help, love, or even curse. 

Your only power over others is in your influence.  

You can influence someone to live well, to heal themselves, to love, and yes, to hurt themselves.  

You can feed into someone’s dark energy, manipulate them, and get them to damage themselves.  

But here’s the trick, you have to become that black magic, that damage, in order to wield that kind of influence.  

Love spells in the traditional sense, the kind where you cast a spell that makes someone love you, are much like curses. You are taking away someone’s will.  

And that kind of love spell does not invoke love. It invokes obsession and infatuation, the kind that can become dangerous.  

When you seek to seize someone else’s will, no matter how benign your intentions may be, you are always skirting the line of dark magic and tapping into dark energy.  

Dark energy, once adopted, is very hard to release, and even harder to not become infected by.  

Lovesick 

cursed woman

The kind of energy required to cast a love spell to get someone to love you comes from a place of sickness.  

Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about how the native tribes of Peru believe that there is only one sickness, after all.  

Only one disease.  

And only one cure.  

The disease is disconnection from Nature, or what we would call Source Energy or God.  

The only cure is reconnection.  

When we are so smitten with someone that we feel the urge to manipulate them and control them, we are lovesick.  

I remember once I was lovesick.  

Just once.  

In all my relationships, I was usually the one making the men in my life lovesick.  

They would cry and beg and plead when I left.  

And I always left.  

But then I fell head over heels in love with a man I thought was the incarnation of my wildest dreams.  

Our yearlong love affair was passionate and whimsical and always bordering on crazy.  

My heart raced every time I saw him.  

Every single time.  

And when I realized the spark was fading, I went above and beyond to manipulate his feelings and his interest back to me.  

I became controlling and manipulative, hounding him day and night, suspicious of what he was doing when he wasn’t with me.  

Finally, he asked for a break.  

“A break?” I cried. “A break?” 

It drove me fully crazy.  

After two weeks, I finally had to end things entirely.  

I gathered all of his things, drove to his house, and told him I was done.  

“Don’t call me. Don’t write to me. Don’t show up at my house. I have to get over you.”  

And I did.  

It was the worst heartbreak of my life, but I had to just clean the pain out of my system and move on.  

I cried for weeks.  

Then I pulled myself up by my high heels and got my butt back in gear.  

Months later I reflected on what I could have done differently.  

I could have accepted the break.  

I could have just been friends and hoped we’d get back together some day.  

I could have eased my way back into his life.  

I could have I could have I could have… 

But all of that would have been manipulative.  

It would have been to cast a love spell on someone who did not love me.  

And the truth is, I did not really love him either.  

I was infatuated with him.  

It has been 17 years since that heartbreak, and I did find someone who loves the real me, the authentic me, in all my mess and muck and mire.  

He legitimately thinks I am the best thing that has happened to him, and I know he is the best thing that has happened to me.  

We have two beautiful daughters together and 15 years of memories growing our love together.  

And if I’m being honest, I would never have welcomed my husband into my life if I had not been so lovesick before him. I would never have been in the right place to find my existing relationship, my own love magic.  

I would have kept chasing some unrealistic romance novel idea of what love was supposed to be.  

Another Buddha quote I love is on love. 

“The one who makes your heart race is not the one for you. 

The one for you is the one who makes your heart calm, your breath steady, your life full.”  

You Are the Love Spell 

So, if you want to write a love spell, or cast a love spell, you must cast it on yourself.  

It took me months to rediscover myself, my center, my wholeness after that breakup, and I have no doubt that if I hadn’t, I would not have found the true love of my life.  

Me. 

My higher self.  

God.  

Nature. 

The Universe. 

Those are true loves of my life. 

And as I began to walk with the Universe, I opened myself up to living on the straight and narrow.  

I wanted to be good.  

I wanted to live in the truth.  

I wanted to be honorable.  

I wanted to be a good example for my younger siblings.  

I wanted to be a good mother someday.  

I wanted, in short, to walk with God.  

When my husband came into my life, he confessed to me, he had just made that same commitment.  

“I only want to put good out into the world and receive good in return.”  

That’s the spell.  

When you cast a love spell, you must cast it on yourself.  

You must commit to love yourself.  

A love spell with genuine intentions could be something as simple as “I surrender.”  

Surrender to a divine, loving Universe that only wants what is in your highest good.  

And you cannot help but find a human being who meets you where you are.  

Remember, the law of attraction tells us that we attract what we are. 

You want to fall in love?  

Be love. 

That’s the spell. 

Take yourself on dates.  

Treat your body like a temple.  

Buy yourself pretty little gifts and flowers. 

Set good intentions, commit to good times, treat every day like Valentine’s Day for you. These practices are powerful tools, free love spells, and love rituals.  

Love yourself so much and so specifically, that anyone who meets you will know exactly how to do it.  

And you will find love.  

In fact, once you step into that loving space, people will bend over backward to love you.  

I now go out into the world and am surrounded by people who love me.  

I chat with happy strangers, my friends get excited to be with me, and I have rubbed off on my children, who get those same responses out in the world.  

Yes, you can light a pink candle under the new moon and lay rose petals down like a blanket in the grass.  

Or you can burn a red candle and write perfectly worded magic spells on a piece of paper included in magical rituals accompanied by a love potion (red wine will do the trick) and repel negative energy and call for your true love.  

But in the end, the powerful love spells are the ones you live and breathe every day.  

They are easy love spells you repeat to yourself every morning when you rise: “today will be a great day. I am going to have the best time.”  

No specific person will fall in love with you because you write a spell. 

No one will propose to you because you cast marriage spells or put a locket of their hair in a honey jar. 

You are the spell as much as you are the spell caster.  

So embrace your free will and give everyone else theirs and trust the universe to provide romantic relationships perfect for you, a new lover who truly adores you, and work with the white magic of positive energy.  

Happy manifesting.