I’m not here to lie to you.
I’m not going to repeat all the trite saying like “beauty is an inside job.”
I won’t say “everyone is beautiful in their own way.”
I won’t tell you that the most important opinion on your beauty is your own.
I won’t say any of those things.
They are all true.
But I won’t say them.
Because I know what you mean when you come looking for beauty affirmations.
You want to feel beautiful like the beauty you see when you scroll Instagram.
Like the beauty you see in fashion magazines.
Like the beauty on the big screen.
How do you feel beautiful like that?
First, let’s get really, really clear on something.
It is, in fact, about feeling.
Beauty really is not objective.
It absolutely is subjective.
Standards change, of course, and what we as a society decide is beautiful by societal standards waxes and wanes.
Marilyn Monroe was a size 10 with a belly that spilled over.
Twiggy was a size zero and had the body of a 12 year old boy.
Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez have big booties.
Jennifer Garner and Ariana Grande have no bootie at all.
I can list a number of Hollywood actors and actresses, even models and Instagram influencers, who are not objectively beautiful, but are still stunningly attractive.
I find Penelope Cruz drop dead gorgeous.
Others will say her nose is weird and her mouth is crooked.
I also find her husband, Javier Bardem, incredibly attractive.
Some people find him homely and even ugly.
Here’s the thing, what makes someone truly beautiful is that they feel beautiful.
They feel confidence, bold, unafraid to be expressive, open, honest, clear, free.
Beauty is not a look. It is a feeling.
When you can grasp that, you can begin to feel beautiful yourself.
And until you can grasp that, you can practice these beauty affirmations:
“I want to feel beautiful.”
“I can feel beautiful.”
“Why not me?”
“Someone out there will find me beautiful.”
“I am beautiful to someone.”
These affirmations help you put it all into perspective.
There is indeed someone out there who finds you riveting. Probably more than someone. Likely quite a few people.
We’ve all seen that person who is less than attractive to us walking down the street with someone we find quite attractive and thought, “how is that possible?”
Because there is a lid for every pot. Everyone has different tastes. And when you feel confident in yourself, your beauty shines, and the people meant to see it, will.
More than a Feeling
But, it’s more than a feeling, right?
It’s deeper than feelings.
It is your subconscious mind sending you messages about your inner beauty, getting to a good place in your own skin, and accepting your natural beauty as a matter of fact.
When you work on those things, you own your self worth, your beautiful smile radiates positive energy, and your beautiful soul shines through.
You have to change your thoughts, which you have total control over. And, as Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book Big Magic, your thoughts will control your feelings.
Then you really are, objectively, beautiful, and that’s one of the best beauty affirmations out there.
This process takes work, and for most people it takes time.
The Work to Be Beautiful
It’s not so easy to just “change your thoughts” though, right?
They seem to have a mind of their own.
They kind of do.
You, after all, are not your thoughts.
You are the one who observes your thoughts.
Your thoughts are the product of your experiences, what you read and see, who you hang out with, all the ways you are influenced.
They take on a life of their own, and, if you are not careful, and most people are not, they will run your life.
Suddenly, you realize you have been asleep at the wheel this whole time.
Well, now it’s time to take back control of your life, by taking control of your thoughts.
Change your actions.
Your thoughts will tell you to be afraid.
If you let your thoughts control you, you will give in to the fear and be a victim of it.
If you face your fear and do the thing you are afraid of, you change your thoughts because they can no longer convince you to be afraid. You break the hold.
If your thoughts tell you that you are weak, prove that you are strong.
If your thoughts tell you that you are not lovable, spend time with the people who love you. They do exist.
By changing your actions, you change your thoughts. By changing your thoughts, you change your feelings.
How does this relate to being beautiful?
Do things that make you feel beautiful.
First, and easiest of all, is to focus on your health.
7 to 9 hours is mandated by every sleep study on earth for 95% of people in the world.
Sure, there’s a chance you need less than that. A 5% chance.
I would not bet on it.
Aim for 8 hours of sleep every night and see how you feel after a month.
Chances are your mood will improve, your skin will looker brighter and more clear, and your overall health will improve.
Those are all big steps toward feeling beautiful.
Exercise is gorgeous. It is sexy. It is truly beautiful in more ways than one.
It brings color to your cheeks, it boosts your serotonin (that’s the feel-good chemical in your brain), and it makes your body stronger and fitter.
You don’t have to lose weight, necessarily, but you want a strong, healthy body to live a long, healthy life.
Now that’s beautiful.
Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise every single day, ideally outside in sunshine and fresh air.
Also aim to lift weight once or twice a week for muscle tone.
How’s this for beauty affirmations?
Don’t count calories, count nutrients.
That’s right. I don’t care if you eat more calories than this or that diet book recommends.
Diet culture is so gross.
Just be sure you’re getting all of your nutrients.
Eat more plants, more clean protein like grass fed beef and pasture raised chickens and eggs, get nuts and seeds and healthy fats into your body.
And of course drink plenty of water.
You will find yourself satiated more quickly and for a longer time, and your exercise and sleep will improve.
Plus, a nutrient rich healthy diet can lead to dramatic improvements in clear skin, hair, nails, and a ton of internal health issues.
Sit for 20 minutes every morning before you do anything else and meditate.
Clear your mind in a quiet space and connect with your higher self, who loves you unconditionally and finds you beautiful in all ways.
Meditating helps you sit in the present tense, exude positive energy, and see your true beauty and inner strength.
You are a beautiful woman (or man), with beautiful eyes, youthful skin, a beautiful face, beautiful skin, and your authentic self knows it.
When you sit with that authentic self every morning, a beautiful light shines through you in a million different ways.
Limit Sugar and Alcohol
Finally, both sugar and alcohol can have a detrimental effect on your outer beauty and your inner healthy.
They are both highly inflammatory and toxic to your body in excess.
They can cause blotchy skin, bloat, puffy eyes, and a sense of lethargy and sluggishness.
Make sure you limit your alcohol as much as possible and sugar down to only the occasional treat.
You will not only look better, but you will feel so much better in a very short time.
“I take care of myself.”
“I feel strong.”
“Strong is sexy.”
“Self-care is beautiful.”
“I am doing good things for my health.”
The final step in feeling beautiful, in changing your thoughts, lies in another form of self-care.
Boundaries for Beauty Affirmations
This last piece for beauty affirmations may be the hardest. You have to set self-love boundaries.
Too much social media, especially if you follow the wrong accounts, will have you hating yourself and feeling ugly all the time.
You have to draw on your inner strength to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself and limit social media to only an hour or two each day.
You have to stop doing things that take you out of your authentic self. Your self-esteem is worth it.
Only accept positive statements about yourself and others, let negative thoughts be a thing of the past, just let them float right on by in your head, and own your real beauty as it shines through.
You are a beautiful being worthy of love love love. So only accept that, from everyone and everything in your life, and nothing less.
Then, come up with your own list of affirmations that support your new positive thinking and good care, that reflect what you really believe beautiful means.
Because, of course, it means you.